Christmas Recap: Mamaw's House

Every year we go up to my grandmother's house in Tennessee for a few days before Christmas. We do family Christmas on Christmas Eve and then head home in time for the 11:00pm candlelight service.

We pack a bunch of rednecks our family into Mamaw's house like clowns in a clown car. 13 people sleeping in a house with 3 beds and 1 bathroom. My cousins and I sleep on air mattresses in the den but there are so many of them once you are on your bed you can't move because there is no floor space to walk. So when Alex kept me up all night snoring...well there was nothing I could do about it except hit him a few times to try to make him roll over...it didn't help. At mamaw's house healthy food doesn't exist, hard work for men is squeezing in 5 naps instead of 4, and sarcasm is a love language.

This is what life looks like at mamaw's...feet propped up watching TV. Suddenly do I make more sense to you now that you have seen my genetic background?

Wesley, my youngest nephew, has a total man crush on our cousin Reid so when Reid and his wife brought the boys a toy to play with it was heaven on earth. Then Tucker started doing tricep dips on the steps haha.

My cousin Alex and I went shopping with Aunt Carolyn. Alex needed a hippo and I wanted rockband. Alex's shopping trip was more successful than mine.

Blurry but I couldn't resist showing you my 4'8" aunt in her red swishy suit.

The tiny men folk learn at a early age...

How many men does it take to start a turkey fryer? Later I asked Reid what the problem was. His response: Apparently there was a safety feature that cuts the burner off if it heats up too much too fast, so we just disabled it. Me: What do you mean? Reid: We ripped it off. Me: oh, good.

Note Alex in the Green sweater. Same cousin as above. After he took a shower that day he came out wearing the same sweater as his dad but in Green and with his hair parted just like Bob. Hilarious.

There she is...just waiting to be fried.

Some of the delicious southern food.

The finished Turkeys!

Father and son hard at work carving turkeys.

Mamaw's fridge. I'm not the only one who includes furry 4 legged family in Christmas Cards. Please note the matching scarves that my cousins and their dogs Stink and Bella have on!

Waiting in line for food.

My dad and his brother...Uncle Ronnie (I think in 27 years the only thing I have ever seen this man wear is flannel.)

The battle of the Banana Puddings. Easy pudding kind on the left, baked awesomeness on the right.

Back in the day we used to get real gifts at mamaw's, but then we got old. So my aunt Carolyn started a white elephant gift exchange, except she puts together all of the gifts every year. And I use the term gift loosely, just because its wrapped in a box does NOT mean you want it.

Mamaw, Uncle Butch, and Aunt Brenda paying close attention to the rules.

Alex being brave and hoping he gets something awesome.

Too bad...it's some random dollar store reindeer.

Butch opening the "golf package" with athletic socks, golf balls, and a flashlight "to find your balls." Later his gift was stollen and he ended up with the "bandaid package" which makes an appearance every year...its a collection of bandaids, neosporin, asprin, etc. Brenda got a scarf that she thought was a towel. Alex then proceeded to show her how she could use it as a towel.

I however got the best gift of the year! The coveted spare change gift! 1 roll of each denomination of change = $17! It is the highly fought over gift every year, that and the lottery tickets.

And to close out the night dad's game. He puts $1 in every card except for one that has $50, $20, and $10. Then he reads a poem (that he wrote himself and is always sure to be entertaining) and every time he says right you pass it to the right, left pass it to the left. I only got $1. Oh well.